Everyday Lookism

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ever made you feel bad?

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Stories

“ When I was 9 my uncle told me that I had more hair on my arms than him. Been shaving my arms since then (almost 40 years).

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Story 940

“ I began to eat less when studying abroad, eating only twice a day. My family said that is really the goal of studying here because I am supposed to lose weight ...

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Story 939

“ My year 8 PE teacher told 12 year old (male) me that "you have a woman's body". Still not sure what that means. Fat in the wrong places? Bone structure? The way I walk? I wasn't insulted, just very confused.

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Story 938

“ Since 5th grade I know that a lot of people think that I am ugly. It is very common for me when even strangers point out that I am ugly. Therapy helped that I see myself as unconventionally attractive but I am still feeling ugly eyeryday. It hurts everytime when people say I am ugly. I am 33 now and living a very isolated life. Unemployed and suffering from c-ptsd and depression for many years. I am fighting every day. I wish beauty wouldn't be that important in our world and people were kinder to each other. I still don't know how to cope. Please think before you judge someone. Treat people how you want to get treated yourself.

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Story 937

“ When I was around 12 years old other girls would make fun of me and say it's disgusting to have body hair. That's why I started shaving. And from then on I'm not comfortable weaeing dresses or shorts because I'm too scared some body hair escapev razor. So I didn't wear shorts or dresses and even started to have excuse why I can't swim even though I love swimming. I don't wear anything that shows my legs because I don't want to shave because it irritates my skin too much but I'm also too self-conscious to be seen with my body hair.

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Story 936

“ Yesterday when I was sitting with my uncle, my grandma said that I look like a bone then suddenly he commented that if I'm a bone then what is a real bone (HE IS ALSO FAT🤭) I'm not even that fat I guess he is just jealous that I can gain some weight but his daughter can't 😂

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Story 935

“ I had pcod growing up so it resulted in some facial hair so growing up people will judge me. Even though now I am fine nd those are gone, I still remember how insensitive people were. I still see girls with facial hair being made fun of and it makes me angry nd hurt. I wish for those commenting woman to know that u aren't a Aphrodite urself, commenting on someone else's looks like this..nd those guys half of you lot will be homeless losers who will run after a woman's attention like dogs

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Story 934

“ there was a time when I was about to enter another year in college, we decided to go the mall to buy things I need (we as in; me, my aunt, and my cousin). we where on a shop that sells clothes and other things and we were there so my aunt could by me a bra. minutes passed, a clerk approached us and asked what we liked and stuff. my aunt began to embarrass me and says stuff like, "her boobs are too small." and then "no hope for her." I don't remember much but she said a lot of nasty stuff too. she keeps comparing her daughter from me, saying her daughter got the good genes and I don't.

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Story 933

“ I come from a culture that sees curvy women as most beautiful. I am naturally thin and muscular. My aunts consistently comment to my mom that I need to gain weight. When I ask my mom to either defend me to my aunts or stop relaying these comments to me, she takes their side and says it’s out of concern. I wish she would stand up for me or not tell me what my aunts said.

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Story 932

“ "You'll never get a boyfriend with eczema like that" - my mum

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Story 931

“ During my teenage years I went to the doctors with my mum about strange marks on my legs. The doctor explained they were stretch marks and when we left, my mum said i'm on a diet because I'm too fat. This meant I would eat in secret so she wouldn't scold me for being overweight. I'm a healthy weight now but I still don't enjoy eating around my mum because I can feel that she's judging me.

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Story 930

“ Always being told as a kid that I had "puppy fat", I wasn't big by any means, just had a little belly, but everyone felt like they needed to comment on my body and justify my stomach for me by saying it was "only puppy fat". But I had a little tummy even after puberty, and there hasn't been a day since that i haven't sucked in or not thought about my stomach.

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Story 929

“ A group of girls in school said my breasts were so small that I have "mosquito bites on my chest instead of breasts"

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Story 928

“ My mom, a beautician and cosmetic consultant, used to tell me that I have a bad-shaped nose when I was younger and promised a rhinoplasty when I grew older. Now I'm older, the rhinoplasty never materialised, but the words stick with me forever.

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Story 927

“ When I was 12, a boy I had a crush on for years told me his mum noticed that my calves were huge in a class picture. That comment stayed with me for years, and I spent my teenage years feeling insanely self-conscious about my calves. I'm only just starting to come out of it. I'm 21.

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Story 926

“ I will never forget on my first day of secondary school and the boys labelled me 'ugly' and would relentlessly let me know about it every day for the best 5 years. I'm 20 now and not only did this lead to massive insecurities, and having to get up 2 hours before school to get ready to look 'pretty', but I resent going home just in case I see one of those boys and I suddenly feel 12 years old again and feel ugly.

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Story 925

“ my sister oinked at me and said it was because I looked like a pig. it was a joke but it hurt me

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Story 924

“ I'm in my 40s now but still remember being on the bus as a teenager, and I had my hair in a twisty style that looked quite good. Some boys behind me noticed it and asked me to turn around. When I did their only comment was 'ugly.'

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Story 923

“ I’m 20 years old, turning 21 soon. My father has been shaming me for what I eat for years. My mom can sit down and eat anywhere from five to six times a day, but god forbid I eat maybe twice a day and my father says I need to stop eating so much. He tells me the reason she can eat so much is because she works. But so do I.

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Story 922

“ By family ( I was a healthy weight and size ): - you don’t need to dress up for Halloween you’re already a skeleton - men like women with real curves, you’re not a real woman - you look like a malnourished child from those adverts on Tv - why would anyone want to look like you , looked disgusted at me - refused to hug me because apparently I was too bony and it was painful to hug me - joked about shoving a tube down my throat and force feeding me , kept saying I had an ED - pile of bones, stick, chicken legs etc This led me to binge eat lots of cakes chocolates in a very unhealthy way etc so I gained weight and now I get comments on how Ive gained weight. You can never win.

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Story 921

“ Whenever I straighten my hair instead of leaving it naturally curly I get lots of compliments. Usually they are nice, but sometimes they compare my hair straight to when it’s curly and say I look much better with straight hair.

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Story 920

“ I like to wear outlandish clothes and I was told once that ‘I’m too fat to dress that weird’

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Story 919

“ in secondary school, a group of 'friends' were discussing how you should be careful walking back late at night due to being assaulted and stuff and how its dangerous. i remember mentioning yeah i always pretend im on the phone to someone and try not go down dark alleyways. everyone just turned and started laughing in shock. someone mentioned i was ' too ugly to be r*ped' etc while laughing and the fact that that i even considered being assaulted was a joke because no one would dare come near me. wasn't sure how to react ? i was just stating how walking in the dark scares me. anyways after that i avoided saying i was careful walking home at night or that it was too dark to walk back late, because how dare i even assume i would be a victim of assault. if it's ever brought up i just say i dont want to walk back in the dark because im scared of theft or a robbery

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Story 918

“ I was fat growing up. Then, in college, I developed a restrictive eating disorder. I became skinny–unhealthily so. Since the pandemic, I gained my previously lost weight back. When I was skinny, my family was so proud of you. Now that I'm fat again, they are not as excited about my achievements in life. I suppose this wouldn't bother me as much if strangers acted as though they don't care that I'm fat to compensate for a lack of support from my family. But everyone I meet is acutely aware of my size. I don't think I'll ever find someone who accepts me as I am and recognizes me for all of the wonderful contributions I made to the world.

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Story 917

“ Many men of all ages - but also some women - have insulted my appearance, especially as a teenager. Whether it was my nose, my skin, my haircut, my choice of clothes, my glasses, my teeth... everything seemed to be a problem in their eyes. I am 38 and still suffer from my body image.

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Story 916

“ I've put on some weight recently and my mum keeps commenting and telling me that I should wear baggier clothes.

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Story 915

“ I had my hair cut really short and was told I looked like Albert Einstein because it's blonde and curly.

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Story 914

“ You should shave your moustache, you look like a pedophile/sex offender (in year 9)

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Story 913

“ For some reason I'm regularly asked "You've lost weight, haven't you?" by work colleagues or family when I've actually had the same weight and shape for the past 20 years. Do they see it as a compliment? I feel judged, scrutinized, analysed. People always have something to say about my appearance.

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Story 912

“ Growing up, people stopped being direct when it comes to showing they didn't appreciate your appearance. However you could understand it based on their attitude. What really struck me especially is how male behaviour changed towards me as I became pretty. Before I learned how to take care of my hair, had a still "unharmonious" face, [...] guys were ignoring me. When we were in a group conversation, they kept talking to my pretty friends, not looking at me, not answering whenever I was talking. As my face became closer to beauty standards, I suddenly got a growing attention and guys kept trying to seduce me, always listening, always agreeing to whatever I had to say. That made me feel completely sick. It seemed to me I only existed whenever they had interest in sleeping with me.

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Story 911

“ We are 14-ish year old and one of my friend says, laughing : "I had this really weird dream last night. We were at school and every single guy was in love with ... [She tells my name]. She even had a boyfriend! How could she be the first one to have a boyfriend, that's so freaking unrealistic." My other friends were laughing. It was at this time that I started to believe my appearance made me unworthy to be loved. It just seemed so obvious to others how ludicrous it would be to have feelings for someone looking like me.

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Story 910

“ As a 13-ish year old, I am walking with some friends in my school and we meet a group of guys of my class that are laughing. They are saying one of them has done a ranking of girls beauty within our class. Everyone wants to see it, and I obviously start to stress out. As I arrive to take a closer look, the guy who made the ranking screams "No, you can't read it, I didn't give you a good grade". I was mortified.

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Story 909

“ Once discussing with a group of people my age (~14) , I complain about how a teacher gave everyone the same grade except for a few of us that got lower grades for absolutely no reason. One of a guy replied, laughing "that's probably because you are ugly.". The entire group kept laughing, and I can simply remember the feeling of shame that rose within me, as if I was the one that should somehow feel guilty for my face.

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Story 908

“ Having curly hair, people kept insulting me about it, telling me I should take more care of it, as if I wasn't spending hours on weekly basis trying to tame them. Fed up of "friends" in the bus telling me I should go to the hair dresser (last time I went, I got insulted by the hair dresser as well), I just say: "that's the thing with my hair, either people love it or they hate it, there is no in-between." The guy replies, laughing "I don't see how anyone could find it pretty".

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Story 907

“ As a 13-years old, I was shopping with my mother and sister. Looking for some T-shirt a bit further from them, a guy around my age comes towards me and just tells me "Hey, you are ugly" and walks away.

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Story 906

“ You should always be handsome

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Has a comment about how you look ever made you feel bad?

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Story 905

“ I get insulted by people sometimes for my tall forehead ~ being called "fivehead". It's inherited. Nothing I can do about it!

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Story 904

“ my boyfriend said my septum piercing didnt suit me aswell as i thought it did

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Story 903

“ Your face isn’t very professional.

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Story 902

“ Guy told me last night I have a great face and personality I just need a smaller stomach ..

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Story 901

“ My hair was curly from the rain, it always gets curly and messy when it rains, no matter what I do: 'You look like you were chased in the forest, beaten and also sleepless.' This came from another girl.

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Story 900

“ Do you only dress like that so people won’t take you seriously?

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Story 899

“ A new woman joined my dance class and a group of ten or so women refused to dance next to her because 'her hairy toes made them feel sick'. She never came back

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Story 898

“ You should straighten your hair, try to make an effort.

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Story 897

“ People comment on my weight, for example insisting I take another piece of pie, saying I need it.

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Story 896

“ I asked my boyfriend what he liked about me when we first started dating. He replied, 'You used to be really pretty.'.

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Story 895

“ I asked my mum why there are so few photos of me as a child. She said it was because I was so ugly.

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Story 894

“ In my mid-20s I lost a lot of weight (disordered eating and over-exercising), a work colleague saw me after a few months in and said "You look amazing. Some people can really carry being fat. You never could". Guess what, beehotch? I'm 42 and fatter than ever! Bite me.

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Story 893

“ My ex husband wanted me to be fake, fake nails, bleach blonde hair, he wanted me to get plastic surgery. I didn’t. Good for him if that’s what he likes but I didn’t like it. I wore makeup heavily for a year the last year we where together… after looking at myself and praying about it I realized this wasn’t my face…I felt like a clown. I don’t wear makeup now. If someone doesn’t Like my face it sounds like a personal problem. We as woman are not clowns for others entertainment; and there are men who don’t like makeup and will be completely fine if their woman has a real face. My ex can keep all the fake woman he wants, that’s why he’s my ex. And me I’ll keep my real face and body! I don’t have to change for anybody! This is how God made me!

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Story 892

“ I was called "Big Nose" by multiple male bullies, starting in the 5th grade. A group of boys teased me with that, and when I changed schools, I looked forward to it ending. Unfortunately, after changing schools for 7th grade, a new crop of boys teased/bullied me relentlessly about my big nose. I had never even thought about my nose until they pointed it out. Until 7th grade, I just decided those boys were jerks, but when a new group started with the3 same thing, I decided to look in a mirror and check things out. I decided I did have an ugly hook nose, and I cried to my mom about it. Being of ethnic heritage, she took me to a doctor to get it fixed rather than tell me I'm beautiful as is. Boys also said I "Had no body" at 12, my BFF said I had an "ugly body" in the 9th grade, meanwhile others now tell me I have a gorgeous body. I was told by many that my head was way too small for my body. I have no idea what is true and if I'm attractive or not attractive. I am 44.

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Story 891

“ My uncle told me I'd put on too much weight

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Story 890

“ A man shouted down the street that I was a chunky monkey

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Story 889

“ A female colleague commented on how nice I looked, and that she noticed I had lost weight since she had started work a few month before. I didn't know what to say, just awkwardly muttered something. I know she wanted to be positive and encouraging, but I felt terrible because when she started I was not fat but pregnant and had a miscarriage which she didn't know.

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Story 888

“ I'm 35. Whenever anyone finds out my age, they react with shock and incredulity: 'But you look like you're in your early twenties!' 'You look SO YOUNG!' 'What's your SECRET??' Then, if I express any sort of negativity, 'you should be GRATEFUL! You'll love it when you're in your 40s!'. I am positive I will not. I can't see a single positive to being seen to be much younger than one is.

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Has a comment about how you look ever made you feel bad?

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Story 887

“ When I got a cut as a child, my doctor told my parents - "don't worry, the scar will fade. We will make sure this does not hurt her marriage prospects."

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Story 886

“ My boyfriend told me I look nicer in photos when they have a filter on.

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Story 885

“ Every time I try on clothes in front of my mum she tells me they would look much better with some support pants on.

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Story 884

“ I'm a Transwoman & have been for over a decade. All my friends, and many people who I've just met, will tell me I'd make an attractive man. I don't think they get why that's so offensive/revealing though.

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Story 883

“ My partner told me I was beautiful when we met in our teens, then I was became just pretty but now I’m in my 40s I’m only cute

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Story 882

“ I recently told someone I was seeing that I was struggling with attraction as she was curvier than people I usually date. I feel terrible for hurting her and am really ashamed that I have personally perpetuated lookism. How I acted was wrong. I vow to never body shame anyone again.

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