Everyday Lookism

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Stories

“ My naturally slim kids, from school age to adults, have heard ‘you’re so skinny’ too many times to count! They see the parents with our ageing bodies and don’t even consider that either of us could have been slender when younger....and some even state their surprise to find that was the case!

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Story 813

“ After losing about 2 stone my daughter (prior to coeliac diagnosis) got asked at work BY A CUSTOMER if she had an eating disorder!!

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Story 812

“ “Oh you lost a lot of weight! Did you have surgery?”

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Story 811

“ i remember when i was in the 4th grade and i told my dad about some boy at school who was bullying me and just bothering me at lunch and he told me "maybe he's mean to you because he likes you."

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Story 810

“ Every time my step-dad sees me (this has been going on for 30+ years) he mentions my height. I’m 5’2’’. In his eyes, that is short for a woman. When I was a teenager he told me I would have trouble with people taking me seriously because I’m a short female. He wasn’t trying to be cruel, in his defense. I legitimately think he was trying to protect me in some way (from people of his same mindset).

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Story 809

“ Lookism has negatively impacted on my personal life. I have pronounced eye bags, and many friends of mine pointed this out. Secondly, I am not considered tall; some people therefore teased me regarding my height. This lowers my self-confidence and forces me to always wear 'painful' heels. In the future, I hope lookism will be lessened, so that the societies will become less discriminatory.

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Story 808

“ I was walking in the park with my boyfriend when we were 16 and 17. A woman came up to us and said that we shouldn’t be having babies at such a young age. When we explained that we weren’t pregnant she told us that “we” (i.e. me) should make it look less like we were. My boyfriend laughed and agreed.

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Story 807

“ I was told by my dad I shouldn't go in front of my cousin sisters because they are beautiful and fair and i wouldn't fit with their personality because they are good looking and I look like a begger in front of them.

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Story 806

“ I was asked by an uncle at my cousin's wedding that how come i have such a dark complexion and recommended me to use good fairness cream before attending a party.

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Story 805

“ I was 4 years old when my kindergarten teacher said I look like a slum kid because of my dark complexion and short haircut. She mocked me in front of whole class although I didn't knew the meaning of slum. Back at home when I got to know the meaning of slum from mom the only thing I did was crying. It still affects me even after 13 years.

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Story 804

“ I have regularly been criticised for wearing make up Why do you feel the need to wear make up - is it because you —went to a co-Ed school To attract men Lack confidence Etc Broken nosed then my surname inserted as a name at primary school Comments about roots Been told my hair colour didn’t look natural Endless comments about beauty choices

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Story 803

“ 'You shouldn't wear those jeans, your hip dips are showing'.

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Story 802

“ It is very painful when people I love and admire come out with jokes about my weight. Even though I know they're not malicuous people and are obviously not fully aware that they are fat shaming me and others.

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Story 801

“ I've been body shamed since I was a child. People used to laugh at me when I wore jeans or skin tight trousers. They'd say, oh girl you look like a skeleton, do you ever eat, get some meat on your bones, my 10 year old sister looks older then you, you don't have legs at all you have sticks... and more

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Story 800

“ I’ve been teased and told “you’d be so hot if you lost 20lbs”. Always unsolicited and by several people across my adult life. My PCOS and thyroid made me gain and gain and I became a complete recluse.

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Story 799

“ I had a “friend” tell me I looked like a stuffed sausage in a pair of size 28 jean shorts. That summer I ate only cucumbers, watermelon and slim fast bars. I was 5’2 and 122lbs, and 15 years old. 17 years later I still haven’t forgotten, I can still hear the words, I remember exactly what I was wearing. I never wore shorts again.

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Story 798

“ Walked into hydration therapy I hear “um sweetie you shouldn’t be wearing those jeans.” I looked at her and said it’s none of your damn business what jeans I’m wearing. She proceeded with “the colour is too light & a bigger bottom woman like you shouldn’t wear those jeans”. The nurse walked over and told her they don’t stand for body shaming in their practice and asked her to leave

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Story 797

“ My mom’s been bodyshaming me and calling me fat even though I’ve been skipping meals. i’m quite big. 150 pounds. i gained that weight after dealing with an eating disorder but I’m relapsing now.

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Story 796

“ I hide behind filters because I hate my appearance

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Story 795

“ There is no way anyone's body can look like yours so soon after having a baby

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Story 794

“ I keep hearing elders talking about how others look. They directly say that girl is so fair, so beautiful and other girls are dark, fat, ugly. Elders in families have to stop using such derogatory remarks for others -- kids learn from their homes.

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Story 793

“ I grew up ashamed of my long curly hair (that literally reached my butt) because 'straight' was better.

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Story 792

“ I have a 7 year old, he is classed as obese. He has anxiety, he thinks that he is fat, he tells me every day, he loves sweets and chocolate like any other kid but will sometimes choose an apple over chocolate because someone at his school told him to make HEALTHIER choices. He thinks people laugh at him because of his weight. I’m not just talking about his friends, I’m talking about strangers, he thinks people that he doesn’t even know look at him, think he is fat and laugh. This stemmed from SCHOOL, because rather than educate children on real balance, they shame them. This started when he was 5 years old!

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Story 791

“ The day after I gave birth my Mum looked at my swollen and deflated stomach and said: "Have you even given birth? That will go down, right?" My tiny, perfect baby boy was curled up with us and she seemed, in that moment, more concerned that I might stay "fat" or not "get my body back" overnight.

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Story 790

“ Yesterday, my neighbor made the comment “she’s built like a Ford Taurus” about my daughter. I was infuriated. I just said “wow” bc I was shocked. My daughter just turned 5.

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Story 789

“ STOP IT! You are so slim.

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Story 788

“ Around the age of 13, our PE teacher lined up the whole class of about 30 students, then called me forward and told my classmates to laugh at me because of my weight. And they did. Like so many "well-meaning" others who knew or did not know me, throughout my childhood. Until I was in my early 20s, I felt sorry for people having to see me when I walked past them. It took me another 20 years to overcome the intense feeling of shame over my body and the loneliness that came with it. I am grateful to the online plus-size community for showing me that I am not alone and for giving me the strength to finally not feel worthless as a human being.

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Story 787

“ Two years ago I lost 65lbs (from 300) but I didn't feel that much better, and certainly not better enough to compensate for the stress I was going through to either lose more or stay at that weight. I've done the expected and regained that weight. My wife keeps making comments about wanting me to lose weight again, but I'm not putting myself through that any more.

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Story 786

“ My best friend has told me many times that "it's a shame" my face doesn't match my body.

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Story 785

“ Being told by my friends to "not wear such low cut tops" because it was "intimidating to boys". My tops weren't that low but made me forever conscious about what I wore around them

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Story 784

“ Being told I was fat at school by girls I used to be friends with when I was about 13 still sticks with me. I'm 26.

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Story 783

“ In year 7 maths a couple of boys told me I look like a Dalmatian because I have a lot of moles. The comment sticks with me 10 years on

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Story 782

“ Your height is intimidating.

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Story 781

“ You should wear make-up if you want to be taken seriously in a corporate environment.

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Story 780

“ I was once told that I was neither white enough nor black enough. I felt like I never fit in when I was around my family members. Neither side of the family seemed to accept me fully. They would tell me my hair was 'awkward' and my skin tone was 'weird'. It's deeply affected my relationships and I'm always very aware of it when meeting new people.

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Story 779

“ That spot on your chin is disgusting.

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Story 778

“ I changed my Facebook profile picture to a new, happy selfie. My mum commented that it was a nice picture but I should have worn lipstick

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Story 777

“ I am a dance student and my dance coach always pointed out how my thighs looked. He would say things like ‘Stretch your knees or otherwise your thighs will get even bigger as they already are now’ and one time he spoke to me in private and he told me that I desperately needed to decrease the size of my thighs. He also bodyshamed my fellow dancers from time to time. But it’s not just my dance coach who commented on my thighs. I remember standing next to my sister one time and my mom saying something like ‘Oh, your thighs look so much thicker than your sister’s’. And what I’ve written here is only the tip of the iceberg. I would have a lot more stories to tell but there are simply too many💔 PS: And to whoever is reading this: I hope you have a nice day :)

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Story 776

“ When I was 11 I was very skinny. My sister said I would look perfect if my ribs didn’t stick out as much. I spent years and years trying to squeeze my ribs to push them back inside my body.

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Story 775

“ My boyfriend told me his grandma would LOVE my legs, stated that she likes thicker legs and thighs, with bigger booty (and I'm shorter girl) And when I first met her he asked her if she liked my legs (awful, ikr) and she said "yeah they're fine" and when his brother's girlfriend came, she added "I love tall girls and legs that are nicely shaped"

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Story 774

“ My boyfriend at the time tried to let me know that he is unhappy with my weight gain by making me leave on my t-shirt while we were making love.. he never expressed it directly but he made sure I got his message.

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Story 773

“ People would always comment on how skinny I was as a kid - some as a compliment, some less so. It's really affected the way I see myself. Now, in recovery from anorexia, one thing that makes it so hard for me to accept weight restoration is that 'skinny' feels like such a huge part of my identity.

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Story 772

“ I have been told by a very close family member I’ll never find a significant other at the size I’m at. This person has also made comments about specific parts of my body, including my thighs and stomach. I’ve also been told I’d be “so pretty” if I just lost some weight. It hurts, has affected my ability to date, and I experience body dysmorphia. I have spent years being unhappy with and hating on my body. I am trying to heal now, it’s hard, but I know it will be worth it.

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Story 771

“ Many things my mother did and said led to me habing disordered eating and body dysmorphia, but one thing i particularly hated was when I was a teenager she would grab my flesh and waggle it going ‘whats this?! Whats THIS?!?’ In disgust. She’d refuse me seconds of dinner as i was “quite fat enough already”. These days she tells me off for being too thin.

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Story 770

“ At Christmas, my mum told me not to have a second helping of Christmas dinner if I want to find a partner next year, because I’m too fat as it is.

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Story 769

“ My girlfriend once told me I would be much prettier if my eyes were less close together.

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Story 768

“ When I was a little kid, I was told I couldn’t carry on with ballet classes, because I was too heavy.

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Story 767

“ When I was around 4 to 10 years, my Mom was always telling me I had to eat more because I was too skinny, and she thought I never ate as much as she thought I should. Once I hit 15 years old, I started to eat more, and she used to ask me to stop eating because I was looking overweight. Later in my early twenties, I had eating disorders. Now I am 55 and feel more confident, but at times, I still have the weight obsession and remember those times.

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Story 766

“ At 20, I was working at a nursing home as a nursing assistant. I was wearing scrubs. Another aid asked me how far along I was.... I was like I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat. Still remember the interaction clearly ten years later.

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Story 765

“ When I was 19 I worked at the customer service desk in a retail shop. I had a customer who told me he loved my hair and that I resembled Cher. He was really nice and then he goes "do you know what would look really good on you? If you lost around 10 pounds." I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. It was so shocking. And he was saying it in the same upbeat tone of the compliments he had just given me. Like he was telling me I had a great sweater or something. I was speechless. I'm pretty sure I just said "ok". I wish I had the voice I have now to tell him how horrible of a thing that was to say to a young girl.

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Story 764

“ Here is a teenaged trauma that still haunts me at 47. I grew up in a small town and we would often travel on a bus for sports. One weekend we were coming home from a tournament of some sorts and one of the boys decided to start a chant “Here we go [my name]. Here we go. BOOM BOOM!” And then someone else joined him. And someone else. And then eventually the entire bus - which had teachers on it who did nothing to stop this - screamed this horrific fat shaming chant over and over. I sat there and tried not to cry. But inside I think a part of my soul died that day. Humans are just awful sometimes. And I wish people realized that even 30 years later these moments still hold onto little pieces of our self worth.

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Story 763

“ When I lost a lot of weight people thought it was ok to insult my former bigger self to compliment my smaller self. I hate back-handed compliments.

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Story 762

“ I've been asked 3 times if I'm pregnant since I gained weight. Each time it has been in public or around other people. Humiliating and instantaneously day-ruining. Don’t comment on other people’s bodies, bottom line.

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Story 761

“ My first time was at 19, easily 4 or more sizes smaller than i am now, working at Macy’s. I was checking on an older man and his wife and he asked me “what’s the gender?” I was confused and asked “what?” slowly realizing what was happening and he asked again and I just shook my head and his wife hit him on the arm. I cried in a dressing room for about 45 min after that.

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Story 760

“ I received tons of comments about my weight throughout my life but the one that stays with me most is when I lost 100+ lbs, my coworker tried to compliment me by saying, “you look so good now. You could hardly walk before, you basically just waddled”. As if it a different person now... As if it’s okay to ever talk about/to a person like that...

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Story 759

“ I used to have a manager at a store I worked at that would constantly tell me to “tuck it in” whenever I was behind the counter and she was trying to walk behind me and making other mentions of my weight. It was humiliating.

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Story 758

“ The summer I was 16, I worked at a city day camp, many days riding my bike to work. My parents were away at a cottage for weeks. I discovered a vending machine on the campus where the camp operated and bought candy bars daily. When I next saw my mom, she said “I thought you were riding your bike everyday but you are fatter than ever”. Over 50 years later, I remember the sting of her words.

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Story 757

“ Middle school teacher here- I have a kid log on and call me a fat ass everyday.

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Story 756

“ I work at a school for kids with autism. I am, at times, bombarded by comments about my weight from kids. I know they don’t mean harm, but it -hurts- sometimes.

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Story 755

“ I have psoriasis. It started when I was about 17 and got really bad whilst I was at uni. It burned and bled and I had to spend hours in the bath trying to soak it off. I felt so self conscious. About a year into uni I got a belly button piercing, because I really wanted it and felt good about myself. Inevitably the skin around it went bad. One of my friend's flatmates stared and stared at my belly one day, he wouldn't stop and eventually told me how gross it was and looked absolutely disgusted. Like I had any choice?! I've also had people recoil in horror and refuse to shake hands. My partner once got ringworm because his house was so filthy and damp, and said it was because he'd caught my skin disease. He knows perfectly well it's not catching but it still hurt like hell.

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